How to (not) train for a marathon:

step 1:
unaligned hips. don't bother spending the money to go to the chiropractor that insurance doesn't cover. your hips don't really need to be aligned. this is actually unimportant.

step 2:
finally attain some great distance (23 miles), then take your hips out of their sockets. allow them to pop in and out for say...a week.

step 3: 
try to walk up stairs with hips out.

step 4: 
barely be able to walk let alone run.

step 5: 
take 2 months off to allow hips to "heal" (i.e. not hurt). do not seek professional consult. do not see a doctor. do not try to proactively fix the problem. this is all very much unnecessary. "these things heal themselves". (ha)

step 6: 
run on icy pavement. when its below freezing. i hear this is great for your joints. do this as often as possible.

step 7: 
finally start upping your mileage again. up your mileage really quickly in an effort to catch up on your training. 

step 8: 
good, long, wonderful run. 

step 9: 
last mile. cue the hip pop.

step 10: 

1 mementos:

Marc and Gretchen said...

Oh no!!!!! Not good!