*cooking
*cleaning the boat with my father
*lightening storms
*dresses
*fedoras
*tea
*guitars
*ray lamontagne cover of gnarls barkley's "crazy"
*the Lost theme song
*dogs
*people taking photographs with my camera
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
these friends of mine
friends. i see Jesus in these people.
alexandria.
the God loving, earth caring, food cooking, beautiful soul that i call my best friend. a lover of God and of people. so full of adventure and life. when i'm around her, i'm more compassionate, more honest, more of the me that God is calling me to be.
jaime.
lays down her life for the best and worst of friends. holds tightly to God's promises and is a friend who truly understands what it takes to stand in the will of God. she keeps me sane when i'm tip-toeing the edge of insanity.
marcus.
the kindest man i know. loves those who don't deserve love. cares more deeply for the people around him than anyone i have ever known. chases after God with such fervor. and never, never, never gives up on anyone.
nathan.
the thinker. the professor. the contemplator. he wrestles with every idea, relationship, aspect of life. when he cares, he cares deeply. he is one-hundred percent in or one-hundred percent out. he is deep and good and full of wisdom. he is my brother, the first person i call. his wisdom is a strong, steady keel in an ocean of waves.
behr.
makes everyday new. everyday bright. everyday beautiful. she's a rock in a crashing sea of unsteady friendships. beautiful, free, and young. she grows boldly and pulls others up off the ground as she grows upward. she's full of forgiveness and mercy. she's my neighbor, my friend, my late-night-confidant. i laugh harder and breathe deeper when we are together.
andrew.
sacrifices sleep, food, homework, sanity for his friends. gives so much of himself. lives abundantly, beautifully, and true. lays down his life for his friends daily. honest and true, and his friendship makes me more so. our first conversation was 10 hours long. (not exaggerating)
paul.
his smile, laughter, humor are contagious, but not ignorantly so. his kindness shows the wisdom of a life that has seen less happy times. he soaks up each day so fully, sometimes, i swear i can see each ray of sunlight sink into his skin. he is so sincere, and i learn what sincerity is every time he hugs me.
arin.
wonderful. wonderful. wonderful. one of the most intelligent minds and souls that i know. a lover of words and thoughts. he has taught me the value of every-single-word. every word is carefully chosen. every thought, thought out. he is bluntly honest and wonderfully bold. his life humbles and encourages me.
allison.
humble and beautiful. steady and bright. her laughter lights up rooms. her compassion topples buildings. she has a voice that the most talented lark would envy. a beautiful woman, down to the deepest part of her soul. i am humbled to call her friend.
you bless me more than you know.
the pedestrian life
i made my first dinner in the new house!
i cooked for trena, gabe, mike, and ben. i made stir-fry with lime-cilantro chicken and peppers and onions. i also made home-made guac. everyone seemed to enjoy it!
pictures to come of food and house soon!
(also: going on a bike ride tomorrow on sophia[my schwinn breezer])
"This is what I’m finding, in glimpses and flashes: this is it. This is it, in the best possible way. That thing I’m waiting for, that adventure, that move-score-worthy experience unfolding gracefully. This is it. Normal, daily life ticking by on our streets and sidewalks, in our houses and apartments, in our beds and at our dinner tables, in our dreams and prayers and fights and secrets – this pedestrian life is the most precious thing any of use will ever experience."
-shauna niequist
these are my vital signs
i stole this idea from amelia.
these are the things in my life that remind me i'm alive. these are things that make life worth living. these are my vital signs.
longboarding on a windy, beautiful fall day with incredible friends.
playing guitar by myself on a rainy day.
watching dead poets society with good friends.
driving in my car with the windows down and trees changing colors and a warm breeze and good music.
running in the rain.
having real conversations. about life. about the joy and the suffering. and about the God who makes all things new.
worshipping in chapel.
heart-to-hearts.
the first snow.
good coffee with good friends.
books. good ones. books worth reading.
hot apple cider.
best friends. one in particular who reminds me to breath.
these are the things in my life that remind me i'm alive. these are things that make life worth living. these are my vital signs.
longboarding on a windy, beautiful fall day with incredible friends.
playing guitar by myself on a rainy day.
watching dead poets society with good friends.
driving in my car with the windows down and trees changing colors and a warm breeze and good music.
running in the rain.
having real conversations. about life. about the joy and the suffering. and about the God who makes all things new.
worshipping in chapel.
heart-to-hearts.
the first snow.
good coffee with good friends.
books. good ones. books worth reading.
hot apple cider.
best friends. one in particular who reminds me to breath.
"i write because it keeps me sane. because i find God in that place where my thoughts escape my finger tips and make contact with my keyboard."
"about 90 percent of the reason i write is for what it does on the inside of my life, and about 10 percent for what it does on paper. "
-shauna niequist
before i sit down to write. i usually have about a million different things racing every which way through the folds of my mind.
i usually set my stuff down, grab a cup of coffee, sit down, check the weather, check my email, etc.
well, I check my email, then I add events and meetings and workout schedules and work schedules to my calendar. and then i think about how busy i am. how little time i have. and i think about how tired i am. then i panic about how i will handle my new schedule in the fall. and how i am going to get good grades. and then i think about things like the pull and lacrosse and sailing team and how i will make all of those work. and will i have enough energy left to do all of them. especially working a 5 am shift? and all of that craziness makes me think about my grades again.
and my grades make me think about how badly i want to be a veterinarian. and then i think about why i'm here. and can i really justify spending this much money on school every semester? then i wonder if it's really worth it? and am i really where i'm supposed to be?
but then i remember how i was brought here. and that i had no part in ending up at this college. and i remember that saturday afternoon in the kitchen. i remember sitting down with my parents, and them telling me that Hope was where i had to go. it was cheapest with financial aid. and i had no choice. it was Hope or nothing. and i remember being so upset. with them, with myself, with God. and i remember being so crushed. so, so crushed. i was going to be stuck in holland forever.
but then i remember the past year. the overwhelming beauty, brokenness, and love i've experienced. and all the things i thought weren't possible, became so much more so. and dreams and hopes and stories whispered under breath were no longer fiction or wishful thinking, but reality. and i learned more about God and therefore, more about myself.
and the learning reminds me of the seemingly insurmountable walls i faced. the ones i thought i'd never get through. and the hardship, the brokenness reminds me of the immeasurable blessings.
but the blessings make me wonder if i'm still on the right path. and i walking in a way that pursues the narrow gates? and i panic and worry about my schedule and school and everything over again. and i wonder if i have any chance of making a difference in this world. any chance at all. or if i'm just a crazy, aimless, dreamer? am i waiting to change the world? why am i not changing the world now? and maybe with all these crazy thoughts, it's best i didn't.
and that's the craziness inside my head.
and that's why i write. because, understandably, if i didn't. i might lose it. i write because when i scribble things down and rearrange and organize and visually see the craziness, the insanity looks a little less scary. it looks a little less overwhelming. because when i write. i believe in the good. in the beauty. in the joy. when i write. some part of me empties onto the screen. words tumbling out faster than i can type them. and i rewrite entire paragraphs because i get so ahead of myself. like i've been saving up all these words. and they explode onto the screen in front of me. i write because it keeps me sane. because i find God in that place where my thoughts escape my finger tips and make contact with my keyboard. i find him there. and when i do, i feel like i am breathing for the first time.
"when i write, i believe that all the ideas might have a place, instead of just running themselves around and around in a circle. writing gives me a place to use all the flashes and thoughts and rabbit trails that rattle themselves around in my head making me crazy. writing is my best chance at happiness, and it is the riskiest thing i can do. but that's how life is. the riskiest things always yield the best, most beautiful things. what writing teaches me, over and over, is that God is waiting to be found in the darkest corners of our lives, the dead ends and bad neighborhoods we wake up in, and in the simplest, lightest, most singular and luminous moments."
-shanua niequist
-shauna niequist
before i sit down to write. i usually have about a million different things racing every which way through the folds of my mind.
i usually set my stuff down, grab a cup of coffee, sit down, check the weather, check my email, etc.
well, I check my email, then I add events and meetings and workout schedules and work schedules to my calendar. and then i think about how busy i am. how little time i have. and i think about how tired i am. then i panic about how i will handle my new schedule in the fall. and how i am going to get good grades. and then i think about things like the pull and lacrosse and sailing team and how i will make all of those work. and will i have enough energy left to do all of them. especially working a 5 am shift? and all of that craziness makes me think about my grades again.
and my grades make me think about how badly i want to be a veterinarian. and then i think about why i'm here. and can i really justify spending this much money on school every semester? then i wonder if it's really worth it? and am i really where i'm supposed to be?
but then i remember how i was brought here. and that i had no part in ending up at this college. and i remember that saturday afternoon in the kitchen. i remember sitting down with my parents, and them telling me that Hope was where i had to go. it was cheapest with financial aid. and i had no choice. it was Hope or nothing. and i remember being so upset. with them, with myself, with God. and i remember being so crushed. so, so crushed. i was going to be stuck in holland forever.
but then i remember the past year. the overwhelming beauty, brokenness, and love i've experienced. and all the things i thought weren't possible, became so much more so. and dreams and hopes and stories whispered under breath were no longer fiction or wishful thinking, but reality. and i learned more about God and therefore, more about myself.
and the learning reminds me of the seemingly insurmountable walls i faced. the ones i thought i'd never get through. and the hardship, the brokenness reminds me of the immeasurable blessings.
but the blessings make me wonder if i'm still on the right path. and i walking in a way that pursues the narrow gates? and i panic and worry about my schedule and school and everything over again. and i wonder if i have any chance of making a difference in this world. any chance at all. or if i'm just a crazy, aimless, dreamer? am i waiting to change the world? why am i not changing the world now? and maybe with all these crazy thoughts, it's best i didn't.
and that's the craziness inside my head.
and that's why i write. because, understandably, if i didn't. i might lose it. i write because when i scribble things down and rearrange and organize and visually see the craziness, the insanity looks a little less scary. it looks a little less overwhelming. because when i write. i believe in the good. in the beauty. in the joy. when i write. some part of me empties onto the screen. words tumbling out faster than i can type them. and i rewrite entire paragraphs because i get so ahead of myself. like i've been saving up all these words. and they explode onto the screen in front of me. i write because it keeps me sane. because i find God in that place where my thoughts escape my finger tips and make contact with my keyboard. i find him there. and when i do, i feel like i am breathing for the first time.
"when i write, i believe that all the ideas might have a place, instead of just running themselves around and around in a circle. writing gives me a place to use all the flashes and thoughts and rabbit trails that rattle themselves around in my head making me crazy. writing is my best chance at happiness, and it is the riskiest thing i can do. but that's how life is. the riskiest things always yield the best, most beautiful things. what writing teaches me, over and over, is that God is waiting to be found in the darkest corners of our lives, the dead ends and bad neighborhoods we wake up in, and in the simplest, lightest, most singular and luminous moments."
-shanua niequist
You Oh God, are a Forest Fire...
Labels:
anointings,
blessings,
consumption,
Fire,
love
"the Lord is my shepherd
i shall not be in want
he makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters.
he restores my soul.
he leads me down paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i fear no evil.
for you are with me.
your rod, your staff,
they comfort me.
you prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies.
you anoint my head with oil.
my cup overflows.
surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
-king david (psalm 23)
for no reason known to me. you choose to bless me oh God. even if i was blameless, i would not be worthy of your gaze. yet. you call me child. when the darkness closes in, you pour out your blessings all the more. in the presence of my greatest fears and heartache, you bless me. underserving, prideful, unworthy me.
my life is so anointed and full of blessing i cannot contain it. it spills over like a dark red wine and covers me completely. Father, i admit that i have never known a love that compares. i've never known a love that makes me burn inside. a love that makes me lay down my pride. a love that makes me fall on my face in reverence. a love that covers me in my brokenness, shame, and selfishness. i've never known a love like this.
it's like a forest fire Father. you burn in me, and cannot be contained. this love is dangerous. it spreads quickly and with ease. it's out of control in the best way possible. it raves and ravages my soul. it burns away all impurities. i'm not just aflame. i'm fully consumed by your love.
"consume and ravage my heart, make my eyes to see, your beauty, your beauty, your beauty i must see..."
i shall not be in want
he makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters.
he restores my soul.
he leads me down paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i fear no evil.
for you are with me.
your rod, your staff,
they comfort me.
you prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies.
you anoint my head with oil.
my cup overflows.
surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
-king david (psalm 23)
for no reason known to me. you choose to bless me oh God. even if i was blameless, i would not be worthy of your gaze. yet. you call me child. when the darkness closes in, you pour out your blessings all the more. in the presence of my greatest fears and heartache, you bless me. underserving, prideful, unworthy me.
my life is so anointed and full of blessing i cannot contain it. it spills over like a dark red wine and covers me completely. Father, i admit that i have never known a love that compares. i've never known a love that makes me burn inside. a love that makes me lay down my pride. a love that makes me fall on my face in reverence. a love that covers me in my brokenness, shame, and selfishness. i've never known a love like this.
it's like a forest fire Father. you burn in me, and cannot be contained. this love is dangerous. it spreads quickly and with ease. it's out of control in the best way possible. it raves and ravages my soul. it burns away all impurities. i'm not just aflame. i'm fully consumed by your love.
"consume and ravage my heart, make my eyes to see, your beauty, your beauty, your beauty i must see..."
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