the following is a letter a friend wrote to me upon my graduation from high school. she is a lover of truth and Christ and spoke wisdom into my life. i came across it while cleaning out my room at my parents' house. it encouraged and convicted me, so here's an exert from it.
"God has given you this ability to love...to sincerely look at a person, situation, or problem and pour out unconditional love into whatever it is. It's the same kind of love that Christ has. Bre...Christ has empowered you with this love! This love can change the world and you are already doing that. Thank you for loving yourself, but loving Christ and others as well. Not many people have the life changing qualities that you have. Don't lose them, Bre. They will get you through the changes that you will endure during college. They will help you see the goodness in the bad. They wil help you love when all you want to do is hate. You've been greatly blessed, Bre. "
"You're an incredible girl, Bre. An incredible girl that is going to change the world. What the heck, Bre, you are already changing the world. You are a leader, a lover, a speaker, an inspiration. Seeds of Christ are already being planted because of you. But with all of these qualities comes a little bit of scariness. Many people will look to you to see how you handle yourself during difficult situations-though you probably won't be aware of being watched. Never the less, they'll watch how you talk, treat others, how you perform under pressure. Like it or not, women of Christ are being watched."
"Something dramatic must have happened in our hearts, then, to make them fit to be the dwelling place of a holy God."
-John Eldredge
need we be reminded.
"are you suffering?
if so,
then why are you not rejoicing?"
-God
joy.
it's been on my heart this week. not so much that i've been joyful, but rather that i haven't.
you know, perseverance is hard. so hard. but sometimes i worry so much about persevering, that i forget to take joy. we are a people called to joy. a people called to great joy in the face of great difficulty.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."
-James 1:2-4
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
-1 Peter 4:12-13
i must confess to you. i haven't taken joy. oh, no doubt, i've been persevering. but taking joy? praising God? if i have at all, not nearly as much as i should be. i'm quite convicted of this. its easy to just get by, to scrape through the fence. but if you get to the other side, and that's all you have, what have you gained? i want to have joy when i arrive at the other side. i want to have joy when i struggling under the fence. i want joy.
no more just getting by.
no more barely breathing.
no more pride.
joy.
i choose joy.
if so,
then why are you not rejoicing?"
-God
joy.
it's been on my heart this week. not so much that i've been joyful, but rather that i haven't.
you know, perseverance is hard. so hard. but sometimes i worry so much about persevering, that i forget to take joy. we are a people called to joy. a people called to great joy in the face of great difficulty.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."
-James 1:2-4
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
-1 Peter 4:12-13
i must confess to you. i haven't taken joy. oh, no doubt, i've been persevering. but taking joy? praising God? if i have at all, not nearly as much as i should be. i'm quite convicted of this. its easy to just get by, to scrape through the fence. but if you get to the other side, and that's all you have, what have you gained? i want to have joy when i arrive at the other side. i want to have joy when i struggling under the fence. i want joy.
no more just getting by.
no more barely breathing.
no more pride.
joy.
i choose joy.
0
mementos
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
You Oh God, are a Forest Fire...
"the Lord is my shepherd
i shall not be in want
he makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters.
he restores my soul.
he leads me down paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i fear no evil.
for you are with me.
your rod, your staff,
they comfort me.
you prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies.
you anoint my head with oil.
my cup overflows.
surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
-king david (psalm 23)
for no reason known to me. you choose to bless me oh God. even if i was blameless, i would not be worthy of your gaze. yet. you call me child. when the darkness closes in, you pour out your blessings all the more. in the presence of my greatest fears and heartache, you bless me. underserving, prideful, unworthy me.
my life is so anointed and full of blessing i cannot contain it. it spills over like a dark red wine and covers me completely. Father, i admit that i have never known a love that compares. i've never known a love that makes me burn inside. a love that makes me lay down my pride. a love that makes me fall on my face in reverence. a love that covers me in my brokenness, shame, and selfishness. i've never known a love like this.
it's like a forest fire Father. you burn in me, and cannot be contained. this love is dangerous. it spreads quickly and with ease. it's out of control in the best way possible. it raves and ravages my soul. it burns away all impurities. i'm not just aflame. i'm fully consumed by your love.
"consume and ravage my heart, make my eyes to see, your beauty, your beauty, your beauty i must see..."
i shall not be in want
he makes me lie down in green pastures
he leads me beside quiet waters.
he restores my soul.
he leads me down paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
i fear no evil.
for you are with me.
your rod, your staff,
they comfort me.
you prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies.
you anoint my head with oil.
my cup overflows.
surely your goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
and i will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
-king david (psalm 23)
for no reason known to me. you choose to bless me oh God. even if i was blameless, i would not be worthy of your gaze. yet. you call me child. when the darkness closes in, you pour out your blessings all the more. in the presence of my greatest fears and heartache, you bless me. underserving, prideful, unworthy me.
my life is so anointed and full of blessing i cannot contain it. it spills over like a dark red wine and covers me completely. Father, i admit that i have never known a love that compares. i've never known a love that makes me burn inside. a love that makes me lay down my pride. a love that makes me fall on my face in reverence. a love that covers me in my brokenness, shame, and selfishness. i've never known a love like this.
it's like a forest fire Father. you burn in me, and cannot be contained. this love is dangerous. it spreads quickly and with ease. it's out of control in the best way possible. it raves and ravages my soul. it burns away all impurities. i'm not just aflame. i'm fully consumed by your love.
"consume and ravage my heart, make my eyes to see, your beauty, your beauty, your beauty i must see..."
0
mementos
Sunday, May 4, 2008
friend.
sometimes its enough to just be a friend.
i greatly enjoy being a friend. but not just any friend. i enjoy being a friend who has a servant's heart. now, this isn't to say that i like to be used by my friends, that's not what i'm getting at here. but i truly enjoy caring and doing what i can to make my friends happy. its something that just makes me feel good.
like...
driving around holland.
and making pancakes at 2am.
and loving on them.
its not something we think about often, you know. Jesus as a friend. we think of him as Lord, Prince, and Savior. and its not that he isn't all of these things, because he is fully. but he was also a friend. a friend to his disciples, to poor, to the unloved.
i'm not sure that i truly understand what friendship is. honestly. i fall pretty short. but man, to love my friends and serve them like Jesus did??!? i want to kneel down. i want to wash your sore, tired feet my friend. come here. let me show you love.
"Speak- say the words that no one else will ever say
Love- love like the world we know is over in a day
I'm gonna show you a love in every language
I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before"
-Jars of Clay (Show you Love)
i greatly enjoy being a friend. but not just any friend. i enjoy being a friend who has a servant's heart. now, this isn't to say that i like to be used by my friends, that's not what i'm getting at here. but i truly enjoy caring and doing what i can to make my friends happy. its something that just makes me feel good.
like...
driving around holland.
and making pancakes at 2am.
and loving on them.
its not something we think about often, you know. Jesus as a friend. we think of him as Lord, Prince, and Savior. and its not that he isn't all of these things, because he is fully. but he was also a friend. a friend to his disciples, to poor, to the unloved.
i'm not sure that i truly understand what friendship is. honestly. i fall pretty short. but man, to love my friends and serve them like Jesus did??!? i want to kneel down. i want to wash your sore, tired feet my friend. come here. let me show you love.
"Speak- say the words that no one else will ever say
Love- love like the world we know is over in a day
I'm gonna show you a love in every language
I'm gonna speak with the words that need no form
I'm gonna give you what you never had before"
-Jars of Clay (Show you Love)
0
mementos
Saturday, May 3, 2008
a lesson well learned.
we don't ask God for his will to aline with ours.
we ask for our will to aline with his.
we ask for our will to aline with his.
1 mementos
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
"and he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord-that is wisdom"
-Job 28:28
"we're going to make it, friend. you and i, we're going to make it.
sometimes that's all we have, a little light at the end. and sometimes, that's all God gives us. enough to make it through today. and that has to be enough. and it is enough. every time.
we're going to make it friend."
-wise words from a wise friend.
"we're going to make it, friend. you and i, we're going to make it.
sometimes that's all we have, a little light at the end. and sometimes, that's all God gives us. enough to make it through today. and that has to be enough. and it is enough. every time.
we're going to make it friend."
-wise words from a wise friend.
0
mementos
Monday, April 14, 2008
mercy. mercy. mercy.
"we are going to make it.
we are going to make it.
we are going to make it."
- a dear friend
this is by far, the most difficult season of my life.
i feel like i'm sinking fast. and there's no chance of getting out alive. like i've got nothing but the top of my head above water. just my blonde hair floating softly in ripples of blue.
a dear friend of mine told me to hold onto the things i know. because in the end. that's what we've got, our stories. i know a precious few things. i don't know anything at all, but a few small truths. and right now. it's all i need. because its the only thing keeping me afloat.
i know.
that God is enough.
he is enough for me today, and for tomorrow. i know my God is enough.
i know.
that i want to wake up and fight the good fight.
i want to wake up and choose God every morning. this world is too dark, too angry, too bitter, and far too broken. i want to wake up in the reality of these insurmountable odds and choose hope. i want to choose joy. i want to choose perseverance. i want to choose abundance. i want to wake up every morning and choose life.
i know.
that my breaking point is never as close as i think it is. i know that God's grace gives me far more strength than i've found anywhere else. i know that i have a peace in this screwed-up life that passes all understanding. i've got a peace that makes no sense at all.
i know.
that my roots are deep. that i've got a family, a body, even when i forget what they look like. i've got some damn good friends. i know i've got sunshine. i know i can always run home to my sunshine family like the prodigal son, and before i can take a step towards them, they are already holding me, kissing me, wiping all the hurt away.
i know.
that in all this, this messy, (and-pardon-me-for-saying-so) fucked up world, i need something larger than myself to hold onto. i need something larger than my education. i need something larger than my friendships. i need something larger than my family. i need something larger than a relationship. i need a savior.
...
..
.
this world is so broken. so. so. so. broken. and i've got nothing left but you father. i'm crying out. i've got nothing left. you've taken it all. please look my way. don't turn your face away from me father. mercy Lord. mercy. mercy. mercy.
"remember your promise oh God."
we are going to make it.
we are going to make it."
- a dear friend
this is by far, the most difficult season of my life.
i feel like i'm sinking fast. and there's no chance of getting out alive. like i've got nothing but the top of my head above water. just my blonde hair floating softly in ripples of blue.
a dear friend of mine told me to hold onto the things i know. because in the end. that's what we've got, our stories. i know a precious few things. i don't know anything at all, but a few small truths. and right now. it's all i need. because its the only thing keeping me afloat.
i know.
that God is enough.
he is enough for me today, and for tomorrow. i know my God is enough.
i know.
that i want to wake up and fight the good fight.
i want to wake up and choose God every morning. this world is too dark, too angry, too bitter, and far too broken. i want to wake up in the reality of these insurmountable odds and choose hope. i want to choose joy. i want to choose perseverance. i want to choose abundance. i want to wake up every morning and choose life.
i know.
that my breaking point is never as close as i think it is. i know that God's grace gives me far more strength than i've found anywhere else. i know that i have a peace in this screwed-up life that passes all understanding. i've got a peace that makes no sense at all.
i know.
that my roots are deep. that i've got a family, a body, even when i forget what they look like. i've got some damn good friends. i know i've got sunshine. i know i can always run home to my sunshine family like the prodigal son, and before i can take a step towards them, they are already holding me, kissing me, wiping all the hurt away.
i know.
that in all this, this messy, (and-pardon-me-for-saying-so) fucked up world, i need something larger than myself to hold onto. i need something larger than my education. i need something larger than my friendships. i need something larger than my family. i need something larger than a relationship. i need a savior.
...
..
.
this world is so broken. so. so. so. broken. and i've got nothing left but you father. i'm crying out. i've got nothing left. you've taken it all. please look my way. don't turn your face away from me father. mercy Lord. mercy. mercy. mercy.
"remember your promise oh God."
0
mementos
Sunday, April 13, 2008
by far, the hardest season of my life...
life is so hard.
so.
so..
so...
hard.
i know its good.
i know God is enough.
and i'm going to wake up in the morning, and the morning after that, and the morning after that and i'm going to choose hope. i'm going to choose abundance. i'm going to choose perseverance.
but it's just so damn hard sometimes.
so.
so..
so...
hard.
i know its good.
i know God is enough.
and i'm going to wake up in the morning, and the morning after that, and the morning after that and i'm going to choose hope. i'm going to choose abundance. i'm going to choose perseverance.
but it's just so damn hard sometimes.
surprise. surprise. life is hard...
life is tough. life hurts. life is rough. life is a summit. life is a storm. a flood. a hurricane. a blinding rain.
there are times when all we can do in fall to our knees and cry out.
and some days....
some days...
we don't get an answer.
i've got to tell you. its been one of the roughest few weeks i can remember. i've been brought to my knees so many times, i've given up standing.
...and finally. i'm feeling some peace.
God doesn't want us to carry our burdens. Jesus didn't die on the cross for the atonement of all our burdens, to only have us give him some. our God is a jealous God. he wants it all.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in die time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
-1 Peter 4:6-7
so i'm learning to find my knees. and to stay there. and that in his time, NOT mine, he will lift me up. He wants it all, because i am his daughter.
there are times when all we can do in fall to our knees and cry out.
and some days....
some days...
we don't get an answer.
i've got to tell you. its been one of the roughest few weeks i can remember. i've been brought to my knees so many times, i've given up standing.
...and finally. i'm feeling some peace.
God doesn't want us to carry our burdens. Jesus didn't die on the cross for the atonement of all our burdens, to only have us give him some. our God is a jealous God. he wants it all.
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in die time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."
-1 Peter 4:6-7
so i'm learning to find my knees. and to stay there. and that in his time, NOT mine, he will lift me up. He wants it all, because i am his daughter.
0
mementos
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
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