cold.

today was unbelievably cold. 

it was the kind of day where the wind is so bitter, so fierce, that it fights through your jacket and sends shivers erupting down your spine. 

the snow was wrapping aggressively around street lamps, trees and buildings. today was the kind of day when the coldness sank a little deeper than hands, flesh, or bones. the kind of day when the coldness seems to comes straight at your heart. 

today, was cold.

and as i walking, my pace ever quickening, i felt as thought i would freeze right through before i ever reached the other side of my door. i thought for a fleeting second that my veins would begin to freeze from the tiny capillaries in the tips of my fingers,

up my arms,

across my shoulders,

through my lungs,

then the ice would begin to crackle up into my chest,

and theh-bump, theh-bump, theh-bump________

____________________________________

_____.         and i would freeze over and cease to be.

but the beauty of this cold afternoon is... i didn't freeze.

i had enough warmth to walk across 9th street and then 8th street. enough warmth to run across the snow dusted lawn, up the cracked cement path, and slip through the entrance, to the other side, the warm side, of my door. 

the beauty is that we have enough warmth to make it to the door. enough to persist through the bitter cold. enough to run quickly home. 

we have enough to make it to the other side of the door. 

need we be reminded.

"are you suffering?
if so,
then why are you not rejoicing?"
-God


joy.
it's been on my heart this week. not so much that i've been joyful, but rather that i haven't.

you know, perseverance is hard. so hard. but sometimes i worry so much about persevering, that i forget to take joy. we are a people called to joy. a people called to great joy in the face of great difficulty.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything."
-James 1:2-4

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
-1 Peter 4:12-13

i must confess to you. i haven't taken joy. oh, no doubt, i've been persevering. but taking joy? praising God? if i have at all, not nearly as much as i should be. i'm quite convicted of this. its easy to just get by, to scrape through the fence. but if you get to the other side, and that's all you have, what have you gained? i want to have joy when i arrive at the other side. i want to have joy when i struggling under the fence. i want joy.

no more just getting by.
no more barely breathing.
no more pride.

joy.
i choose joy.

"and he said to man, 'The fear of the Lord-that is wisdom"

-Job 28:28


"we're going to make it, friend. you and i, we're going to make it.

sometimes that's all we have, a little light at the end. and sometimes, that's all God gives us. enough to make it through today. and that has to be enough. and it is enough. every time.

we're going to make it friend."

-wise words from a wise friend.