"it is good": fighting the good fight and holding out for the cross.

a theme i've heard reflected over and over and over and over and over and over this week is one of holding out. holding out for something better. something beautiful. something worth fighting for.

i feel like this isn't a lesson you learn without experience. this isn't a lesson you learn sitting on the side lines. this. this is a lesson you learn after you come close. after you get singed by the fire. after you compromise. after you almost settle.

and let me tell you about settling. it leads down the same road every time. i've done it. i've been there. i've done that. and i'm over it. i'm over it. all streams feed into the same river. settling leads to heart break and emptiness. because settling means choosing less than what God has for you. less than abundance. less than the cross. 

its something that last night i laid in bed thinking about for hours. because for the first time, its not the settling that hurts. its the choosing of something better. its the leaving behind of the easy way. its the choice of something more beautiful, deep, and worth the fight. it hurts because its a leaving behind of self. of flesh. of easy and quick and effortless. 

but,

its a good choice. its such a good choice.

but i don't mean "good" in the way, "yeah, that's good, that's nice."

i mean it in the way God says, "and it was good."

there's more meaning to it isn't there?

choosing depth. good.

choosing beauty. good.

choosing abundance. good. 

choosing the good fight. good.

holding out for the cross. good.

its good to choose good.

*[on a separate, yet related note.]

thank you. thank you for sitting next to me. thank you for speaking truth when its hard to hear. thank you for being a three-in-the-morning-i'll-right-there-friend. your friendship is far more than i deserve.