half-life

i had something on my heart and typed out here on this screen and then my window shut for no apparent reason and i am so frustrated and its just not worth the energy to write it out again. and frankly, i'm out of drafts to publish so i'll leave you with this.

"I'm awake in the afternoon
I fell asleep in the living room
and it's one of those moments
when everything is so clear

before the truth goes back into hiding
I want to decide 'cause it's worth deciding
to work on finding something more than this fear 

It takes so much out of me to pretend
tell me now, tell me how to make amends

maybe, I need to see the daylight
to leave behind this half-life
don't you see I'm breaking down

lately, something here don't feel right
this is just a half-life
is there really no escape?
no escape from time
of any kind

I keep trying to understand
this thing and that thing, my fellow man
I guess I'll let you know
when i figure it out"

-Duncan Shiek "Half-life"